Adversity/Disagreement needn't be the end of the line

My son recently told me about a college friend--let's call him "M"--who essentially ended their friendship because my son hangs out with a Christian/Trump supporter (let's call him "J"), who may have some "buyer's remorse" about the whole Trump thing, but who remains politically different from both my son and M.

Meanwhile, M is a "woke" liberal who is appalled by Trump, and is disgusted with that whole scene. He concludes that Trump is a deal breaker when it comes to friendship to the point that he feels justified in selecting my son's friends, and terminating their friendship when the political disagreement is too great, at least in his eyes.

In this same conversation, I also asked my son if he could move some furniture for me. J has a pickup truck, and my son texted him to ask whether J and his pickup could help. His response:

No....

Problem...

Anyway, J is a dependable friend, whose political leanings are really just a tiny part of his identity, and my son says he's like another brother. In fact, his wife is Hispanic, as is my wife, and she's been looking for a connection to the Hispanic community, so my wife says "I've always wanted a daughter"...😁.

As we talked about J and M, my son also reminded me of a family story about the encounter between my Mom and my wife. The wife is Hispanic, and English is her second language. My Mom had a PhD. in English.

In addition to the usual suspicion accompanying the introduction of a girlfriend to parents--after all, parents have spent decades raising their "golden child"--the wife was not exactly the credentialed, accomplished person my Mom expected, and she felt it her right and duty to correct my wife's English, at least until my wife put her foot down and told her to stop.

That declaration was a sad moment of adversity in the relationship between my wife and Mom, and both were frustrated by the encounter. They backed off for a while, until my wife's kindness and generosity persuaded Mom to reconsider.

To make a long story short, they became fast friends. In fact one of the last memories I have of my Mom is of her hugging my wife, and weeping as they said their final goodbyes. Mom was 93 when she passed, and it was clear she wouldn't last long for a bit before that. The wife hates to fly, but felt compelled to fly out to the town where Mom was in nursing home care. They both felt a powerful connection, despite their differences, and both were grateful they had connected despite the adversity of their initial contact.

So...adversity, even disagreement, needn't be the end of the story.