A quick review of the "Dune 2" sequel

(Full disclosure: My wife and son loved Dune, but hey, they're drama queens. And yes, I read the book. Not my cup of tea then, either.)

My take: If you want to spend nearly three hours watching dark, depressing landscapes, with dark, simple-minded, depressing mood music behind it, and not even the tiniest bit of levity, or humor...this is the movie for you. 

Oh yes, and don't forget: planet Arrakis has gigantic worms that make "spice"--a drug that allows you to see into the future (essential for interstellar travel)! But you're supposed to already know this.

And sure, every desert creature on earth is small because the hot sand doesn't provide much to eat, but heck, this is fiction, so all bets are off. Still, the gigantic worms were a blow to my willing suspension of disbelief. Sand is apparently a gigantic worm super-highway--they zip to and fro, sometimes with riders and cargo. Never disclosed: How do they load the cargo, and how do they dismount? I'd call that a plot hole you could drive a gigantic worm through.

So ... the movie itself hit me with an audible "thud"--like that anvil that plagues Wile-E-Coyote--and simply did not impress at all as entertainment. I actually love some of the cast. In Guardians of the Galaxy Dave Bautista masterfully and hilariously plays Drax the Destroyer but he's wasted as Glossu Raban (a bad guy) in Dune 2. In Guardians, he's delightfully clueless. In Dune 2, he's just clueless.

If you want palace intrigue, like Dune 2 attempts to explore, go to Youtube and watch The Story of Yanxi Palace (Chinese with subtitles). It's ten times more clever than Dune (the book or the movie) and has a spunky heroine to boot.

In summary: Two thumbs down. Oh, and I'm disappointed in myself, too -- some people (like me) never learn. Dune 1 was, if anything, worse.